Noah's Rainbow

September 25, 2020 To my Rainbow Baby, Today, I am 18 weeks pregnant! It has been quite a week, and so much has happened to ignite my anxious heart. On Tuesday evening as I was falling asleep, your daddy shook me awake to tell me something did not feel right with him. He was having trouble breathing and his heart was racing. After weighing our options and taking a quick walk outside to see if the episode would pass, we got in your dad’s truck and I started driving him to the hospital. Let me tell you, I was out of sorts. I am not comfortable driving that truck, especially at night, and I was terrified that something awful was wrong with your dad. Your dad must have sensed that pretty easily, because as we rounded a corner near the fire station 10 minutes from our house, he told me to pull in. I went inside and knocked on a door that I could hear voices behind, and some firefighters peeked out looking extremely confused. In a rush, I told them what was going on with your dad outside, an

September 18, 2020 To my Rainbow Baby, Today, I am 17 weeks pregnant! Each week that goes by seems to go a little bit quicker, and it makes your impending arrival seem more and more real. Your daddy and I talked a lot this week about some of the things we have to do to get ready for you. One of our biggest priorities is our vehicles. Neither of us has a car that is conducive with family life. Your mommy has a tiny, two door hatchback that has been nicknamed “the Lima Bean.” It certainly is not built for putting a carseat in the back. Your daddy has a pickup truck with a backseat bench so narrow, I don’t think you could fit a carseat back there, even with the passenger seat pushed all the way to the dashboard! So we have been discussing our options for replacing these tiny vehicles. These conversations have made everything seem a lot more real for me. These are things that we knew we would need to do when there was a baby coming, but now that we are actually taking steps to do it, I’m d

September 11, 2020 To my Rainbow Baby, Today, I am 16 weeks pregnant! It has been another busy week for your mom and dad! This past weekend, we took a short trip to Cleveland to visit some of our friends who we haven’t seen in a long time. Your mommy hasn’t left the city of Columbus in 6 months, so it was nice to get out and spend some time with friends. Since there’s still a pandemic going on, we stayed at their house all weekend, hung out with their kids, and your dad and his buddy made delicious BBQ on the smoker. It was relaxing and fun and I needed it so much. It felt nice to be a little bit normal for a change, since so much in life is not normal right now. Mommy’s getting into a routine with virtual school. It has been tough working from home, and I’ve had to make sure I’m drawing boundaries between work and rest so I don’t overdo it. We finally had some fall temperatures today, so I took your puppy brother for a walk, which was really nice after a long week sitting in a chair!

Listen to this post here Nobody likes to wait. We’ve gotten to this point in our society where we are so accustomed to everything being instantaneous that even a short wait feels excruciating. I remember being a hostess at a restaurant while I was in college; people would be irate if I told them the wait was 10 to 15 minutes! We want what we want now and if we’re told to wait, we cannot possibly fathom why we should have to. When faced with a wait, our instinct is to rebel, to resist. We look for ways to shorten the wait, to get around the process to access what we want, to take matters into our own hands so we don’t have to endure what we deem to be impossible. It’s the little kid who climbs on the kitchen counter to try to get a bowl down for cereal because mom is taking too long to do it like she promised- inevitably what we’re trying to do to circumvent our situation comes crashing down around us, shattered to pieces, and we’ve made a bigger mess of things than what we started

  September 4, 2020 To my Rainbow Baby, Today, I am 15 weeks pregnant! We have had a busy week with lots of joys and celebration being sent our way at the news of your impending arrival. After spending the weekend sharing the news with our extended family and friends, I posted an announcement on Monday sharing our miraculous news on my social media accounts. With that announcement, I officially launched my blog, including all of my letters to you so far and my first piece sharing the journey we’ve been on over the last three years to get to this point where we are waiting for you to debut. I can only give all the glory of the response to God- it has been nothing short of breath-taking. Some many women I have known and loved for years shared comments that they too have angel babies in heaven and a rainbow baby on earth. Women that I have not seen or spoken to since high school or college shared how much my words have already helped them and how they can’t wait to be a part of this journ