Noah's Rainbow

  February 11, 2023 To my Rainbow Henry, You are two years old! Any entire year has flown by in the blink of an eye and you have officially left the baby stage of your life. You are becoming a rambunctious, smart, funny, sweet toddler and we are just in love with watching you grow and learn and show off your personality. It is truly a delight to be your mama and I’m so grateful that God has blessed me with the honor of raising you, little boy! Where to begin with all the things that have happened this year?! The last time I wrote you a letter, you were cruising all the furniture and mostly just babbling, and now you are running and chatting up a storm! In March, we went on a Spring Break trip with Gammaw, Pup Pup, Uncle John and Aunt Denise to North Carolina. You had taken some wobbly steps independently but you were by no means walking as your primary mode of getting around. By the time we headed home, you were confidently walking around the beach house! It was astonishing to see ...

  When I started this journey to share my struggle with pregnancy after loss and infertility, I had some conversations with friends that had also had similar experiences. The thing about loss and infertility is that, while no one talks about it, it’s a pretty big club, so naturally I had quite a few friends who had experienced loss, infertility or both.  During one such conversation, a friend of mine shared some feelings that I never knew I had experienced myself: Why was I given this trial? Why infertility? What is this supposed to teach me? Why are you calling me to IVF? Why do others get this so easily when it’s hard for me? I don’t want to carry this burden. Why me? While so many of these questions had bounced around in my head over and over again throughout the years, I had never framed my thinking in this way. My friend had seen her struggle with infertility as a calling from God, and her questions were focused on why God was asking her to specifically...