Noah's Rainbow

  February 11, 2023 To my Rainbow Henry, You are two years old! Any entire year has flown by in the blink of an eye and you have officially left the baby stage of your life. You are becoming a rambunctious, smart, funny, sweet toddler and we are just in love with watching you grow and learn and show off your personality. It is truly a delight to be your mama and I’m so grateful that God has blessed me with the honor of raising you, little boy! Where to begin with all the things that have happened this year?! The last time I wrote you a letter, you were cruising all the furniture and mostly just babbling, and now you are running and chatting up a storm! In March, we went on a Spring Break trip with Gammaw, Pup Pup, Uncle John and Aunt Denise to North Carolina. You had taken some wobbly steps independently but you were by no means walking as your primary mode of getting around. By the time we headed home, you were confidently walking around the beach house! It was astonishing to see ...

  Listen to this post here      Throughout my journey with infertility and pregnancy loss, I had to consciously make the decision to feel and express gratitude. It was so easy to do the exact opposite: look around at those around me, those I followed on social media, even strangers I encountered out in the world, and feel envious. I felt envious when I saw someone pregnant, when someone I knew announced the arrival of a new baby, when I was invited to a baby shower. I would wonder why that person was so much more deserving of a baby than I was, why they were allowed to get pregnant so easily while I couldn’t, why they got to grow their family two, three, even four times before I even was blessed with one child. In my anxiety about having a baby, I found myself focusing on what I didn’t have, and that led to negative feelings towards those who had what I wanted. I’m embarrassed to say I judged people somewhat harshly, finding them undeserving or less deserving than I ...

  February 13, 2022 To my Rainbow Baby, Henry, You are one year old! How can that be?! It seems like yesterday, you were the teeny 6 pound 13 ounce baby that was swimming in his going home outfit as we left the hospital, sleep deprived and awestruck that they were actually going to let us take you home and be in charge of keeping you alive. Now a whole year has passed, and you are our solid, silly, wild thing!! We’ve just wrapped up your birthday weekend, and we’ve shared so much laughter and celebration with friends and family. So before your first year officially comes to a close, Momma wants to reminisce on this past month. You have finally gotten the hang of hands-and-knees crawling, and you are motoring all over the house. You pull to standing on anything you can reach and cruise over anything that is in your path, but your favorite is walking around the house with someone’s help. You are practically running, and just today, you started getting brave enough to walk around the ...

  January 11, 2022 To my Rainbow Baby, Henry, Today, you are eleven months old! The next time I write you a letter, it will be your first birthday! You are almost a year old, and I just can’t believe it. You have become such a big boy, both literally and figuratively, from the tiny babe who rushed into the world and our hearts two weeks early. The last month has been so fun as we wrap up celebrating the last “firsts” of the first year of your life. I’m feeling all the things about your impending birthday, but mostly, I’m so excited to celebrate you! The biggest thing we did this month was celebrate your first Christmas! We had so much fun making memories, but it was also a very busy whirlwind. We celebrated Christmas at Gammaw and Pup Pup’s first, and we had a great day at their house opening presents, eating brunch and dinner, and video chatting with Uncle John and Auntie Denise. You weren’t really into ripping the wrapping paper off the presents like I thought you would be, but y...

December 11, 2021 To my Rainbow Baby, Henry, Today, you are ten months old! The year you were born is almost over, Santa is coming soon, and we are looking down the days until you turn a year old! It doesn’t seem possible that you are already almost a year old. It seems like only yesterday, we were praying for you, hoping that God would bless us with a miracle baby to grow our family. It seems like only a few moments ago, you were a tiny snowflake in Momma’s belly, growing and moving every day. Then you were born, a tiny little peanut- and I blinked and now you’re a chunky, happy, rambunctious little boy, getting busier and bigger every day! There’s so much tension in motherhood- longing for those days when you were a little snuggle bug, wrapped against my chest, and excited for the days to come when you will take your first step, say your first words, and grow into the person I have been dreaming of you to be. My heart can barely contain it all! We’ve had a crazy busy month, getting m...

  November 11, 2021 To my Rainbow Baby, Henry, Today, you are nine months old! Time just keeps on moving, you keep on growing and changing and learning, and this momma is stuck in that bittersweet place of wanting you to stay little forever and being so excited to see what you will do next! You are doing so many new things- moving everywhere you can using this hilarious army crawl that looks like you’re doing the butterfly in a swimming pool; eating just about anything we put in front of you, especially fruit; babbling, squealing, and chatting up a storm, breaking Momma’s heart every time “dadadada” comes out of your mouth; doing your darndest to walk by pulling to standing, walking around the kitchen with assistance, and even cruising just a little bit when we support you. You are giving us all a run for our money, and we just love watching you explore the world around you and learn to do all these fun things. But Momma would be okay if things just slowed down a little bit! This m...