February 5, 2021
To my Rainbow Baby,
Today, I am 37 week pregnant! It is officially baby month!! How crazy is that?! This pregnancy has gone warp speed. At times, it seems only yesterday, I was walking into the doctor’s office to have you transferred into my belly, and now we are 3-ish weeks away from your arrival!! I do have moments where I think back to all the shots at the beginning of this pregnancy and think, “That feels like a lifetime ago!” because this pandemic year has seemed eternal. But for the most part, this season has gone by so fast and I can’t believe that we will be meeting you soon.
I oscillate back and forth between being ready for you to come on out and hoping you will stay in there a while longer. I’m definitely getting very uncomfortable and my back is sore almost all of the time. In those moments when I’m driving 20 minutes to work or a doctor’s appointment, I’m thinking, “okay, get OUT!” as my back sears no matter how I sit or move. Then I look at all the things I want to make sure I have ready to go when you get home and I think, “Oh nooo… please hang on just 3 more weeks!!” Not to mention, I want my maternity leave to end right as summer is beginning so that I can have all that extra time off with you! So I want you to stay cozied in there for a few more weeks, little one, no matter what I say when my back makes me want to scream!!
I had two more non-stress tests this week, both of which went great! You were much more cooperative this week and kept the karate to a minimum. I had my first check on my progress towards delivery, too. I’m not dilated yet but you are definitely head down! The doctor said first babies typically come between the week before and the week after due date, so that’s a good sign that you’ll be in there a bit longer. I also got my first dose of the COVID vaccine this week. I thought long and hard about this decision, as there’s no data out there about the impact on pregnancy and breastfeeding. My doctor was very encouraging of me to get it, and during our pediatrician interview, the doctor I spoke to also encouraged me to get it. What he said really helped me decide: The best way to protect your baby is to protect yourself. So when Ohio prioritized teachers for the vaccine, I scheduled an appointment and went this week to get my first dose. Nothing is more important to me than protecting you, sweet babe. You are being born into a world that is a bit of a mess right now, almost one year into this pandemic. You will be so vulnerable in those early days of life, and I want nothing more than to keep you safe. I had no side effects from the first dose, and you are still squirming away in there, so I’m trusting God to ensure that this vaccine is working for all those who are receiving it and that He will keep you safe from harm. He has done so for the last 9 months, so I know He will not stop now. My second dose is schedule for the week of your due date, which is a little crazy, but I’ll manage. I’m able to schedule through the health department if I can’t make it because I’m in labor, and I pray that if I get the second dose before you arrive, I will not get too terribly sick. But I’m confident in this: God has blessed scientists all of this planet with the gifts needed to develop these marvels of modern science, and I am so grateful to live in a world where we have access to modern medicine that saves lives. This vaccine will protect me so I can protect you, and gets me one step closer to having a classroom full of students at school again. So I praise Him for those blessings.
Right now, you are the size of a head of romaine lettuce. You measure almost 19 inches and you weigh a little over 6 pounds! Your hands now have enough coordination to grab onto things (are you actually squeezing my bladder now?! Haha) and your hearing is being fine-tuned. I might even feel you react to sounds while you’re still in there! Your circulatory and musculoskeletal systems are done developing, but your lungs, brain and nervous system still have some work to do- so stay tight for a little while longer! I pray God continues growing you strong and healthy, and that He eases some of my discomfort in the final weeks of this pregnancy. I pray that He will give me energy to tackle my to-do list and patience with myself when things don’t get crossed off. I know we will be just fine when you arrive, no matter what we haven’t accomplished yet, because everything needed to safely bring you home is pretty much ready. But I need God’s constant reminders that truly, all of it is in His hands. I pray He will keep you tucked in my belly a little while longer, and I ask that He give me the trust I need to know that the baby will come when He deems it time, and everything will work out regardless of when that is. I place all of this in His hands this week and ask that He do His will.
I love you, little Rainbow Baby.
Love, Mommy
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