January 15, 2021
To my Rainbow Baby,
Today, I am 34 weeks pregnant! We have been busy this week with lots of preparations for your arrival. Last weekend, your Gammaw and Pup Pup came over to our house and helped up do some things in the nursery. We hung some things on the walls, put up curtains, and added a few decorations that are gender neutral. There’s still a lot to do, but it’s starting to look like a nursery! I can’t believe that in a few short weeks, I’ll be rocking you in our glider (which still isn’t here yet), and changing you and getting you dressed on our dresser. It will still be a little while until I’m putting you to sleep in the crib, but that space will be all yours so soon, and it feels like the time to get here has flown by. I’m so excited to be able to add the finishing touches once you arrive.
Your Gammaw is also working like crazy to finish preparations for the baby shower, which is this coming weekend, and I’m so excited!! Because of the pandemic we’re still living through, we’re having the shower virtually, so almost all of our gifts have been shipped to the house. Everyday, there’s been a tower of boxes in front of the door, and I just stack them up in the nursery so that Gammaw can come over to open the boxes, wrap any gifts that need it, and organize them all into groups for the Zoom. She’s also sent up the Zoom itself, and emailed all the different groups their times so people can get on when they want and we know what gifts need to be opened when. She’s so anxious for everything to go smoothly, but I know it will all be fine and we will all have a blast!! I’m so excited to see how everyone has poured out their love for you and I’m already so grateful to everyone who has sent us a gift to get ready for your arrival! It is clear that you are so so loved!
As the days click by, I’m feeling more and more anticipation and anxiety, which is increasing my desire to nest and prepare even more than before. Today, I woke up with lists upon lists running through my head. Things I need to do before the shower on Sunday. Things we need to do before you arrive. Things I need to pack in my hospital bag. On and on and on. These list rolled and jumbled through my brain while I got ready, while I drove to work, and so I spent my day at school with a piece of paper and a pen on my desk next to me so that as soon as something popped in my brain, I could write it on the appropriate list. I know this sounds a little crazy, but having everything on a list so I don’t forget anything important has already been so helpful to me. My brain is not crowded with all these different things to remember, and organizing it all in one place takes away my worries of forgetting something important. Plus, I get a little thrill out of crossing things off- the accomplishment makes my heart happy!
I just want to be sure everything is ready for you, little one. I know that there’s no possible way to be 100% ready for motherhood the first go-around, because there’s going to be things that I’m utterly clueless about. I’ve never done this before, and you are bound to throw me some major curveballs. But I also know that I will be much more successful if I prepare in the ways that I can before you arrive. There’s a lot to do in the next 6 weeks (ahhhhhh that’s insane!!!) but I’m already feeling like it’s more manageable than I felt this morning with all those to-dos mixed up in my brain.
Today, you are the size of a butternut squash. You are almost 18 inches long and weigh a little over 4.5 pounds. You are able to hear everything that is going on out here- so you’ll get to hear all the love showered on you this weekend! You are continuing to plump up, and I can’t wait to squish your chunky legs and kiss your chubby cheeks. This will help you regulate your body temperature after you are born. Your bones are continuing to harden, but your skull won’t full fuse until after you’ve arrived. Your central nervous system is fully developed and your brain keeps getting more wrinkles. Hopefully, you’ll get your momma’s smarts ;)
This week, I praise God for all the people in our life who have poured out their love on us as we get ready for your arrival. I am so excited to celebrate with them on Sunday, even if it can’t be in person. I ask God to help ease my momma’s nerves about everything going smoothly, and I pray that the technology will work easily for her. I continue to ask that He protect you, keep you growing healthy and strong in my belly, and send me all the wiggles and squirms to continue knowing you are safe and growing in there. I lay all of this into His hands and ask that He continue doing His will.
I love you, little Rainbow Baby.
Love, Mommy
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