December 4, 2020
To my Rainbow Baby,
Today, I am 28 weeks pregnant! I have officially reached the third trimester! How is that possible?! It seems to be flying by- as if only yesterday, you were a tiny embryo being implanted in my belly. And now here we are, 6 and a half months later, and there are only 12 weeks to go until you will be in our arms at last! I can hardly contain my excitement and joy thinking about it.
This week has been another big shift for me at work. My school returned to a 100% virtual learning model, and I am beyond pleased about it. So much about the first quarter of the school year just worked, given everything else that is going on in our world and in my life. Being pregnant in a pandemic is nerve-wrecking. I want to be safe and careful and do everything I can to protect you and myself, but I also don’t want to go overboard and completely stress myself out. Knowing that I didn’t have to teach a room full of germ-carrying teenagers put my mind at ease, and working the block schedule we were using was showing great success for my students academically and for me in accomplishing all the grading and planning and extra junk that was on my plate. Our shift to hybrid was extremely stressful: getting a new kids in my room every 46 minutes meant germ exposure sky-rocketed and I had to frantically clean between each class; running all of my classes in a single block schedule was not getting much accomplished, between the technology set-up, checking on distance learners, and cleaning at the end- my students were just not getting much done; and I felt like I had less time each day to get more things done in order to make all the part of that model run smoothly, so I constantly felt buried under mundane tasks that were not the heart of why I teach. This week, we’ve returned to the block schedule and not only do I not have kids in person each day, but I am able to work from home where I know I am safe from exposure (especially as the numbers continue to soar). I already feel like I’ve gotten more accomplished this week than in the last 4 during hybrid: my grading is caught up, my lessons are planned further out than a day or two, and I have had time to meet with 6 students one-one-one in the last two days to try to help them get caught up! I’m able to focus again on the things that matter to me, and that makes me happy as a teacher. Knowing you are safe from the harms of this pandemic, at least for now, is also soothing my soul.
You continue to kick and wiggle up a storm everyday. My belly seems huge now, and I know we still have a lot of growing to do!! I went to the doctor yesterday for a brief check-up: your heartbeat is still strong and hearing it makes me smile from ear to ear every time. I got a shot to help protect me from an illness that could be very harmful to you if you got it, and my arm is so sore today I can barely lift it! It’s all worth it, though. On Wednesday, your daddy and I did a quick photoshoot with your Pup Pup to get some pictures for our Christmas card- we are so overjoyed to celebrate your impending arrival with our Christmas wishes to our friends and family this year. It is something that your mommy has wanted to do for a long time. Two years ago, when I was pregnant with your angel sibling, I thought that our Christmas card would be our announcement that we were having a baby. That dream was dashed when your angel sibling went to be with Jesus a week later. Those next two Christmas cards were so hard for me to send, seeing just your daddy and me in the picture, wanting so badly to finally have a little baby to include in our family. The joy I feel this year at finally getting to do that is nothing short of a miracle from God, and I thank Him everyday that He has blessed us with this gift.
Today, you are the size of an eggplant! You are almost 15 inches long and weigh over 2 pounds. You have finally opened your eyes! Your vision is still blurry, but I can hardly wait to see what color they are going to be! You will start to get crowded in my belly, gaining a half a pound every week from now until you arrive. I’m so ready to snuggle those chunky little cheeks! You’ll start to shift permanently into an upside down position, getting ready for your arrival, which means that knee that likes to jam into my belly isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It’s okay, though, because it’s another reminder that you are still here and growing strong, getting closer and closer to your arrival. I pray God continues to protect you and allow you to be healthy, and I pray that He gives me some much needed stress relief and peace with all the changes again at work. We are still continuing to prepare for your arrival, so I pray that we can be productive while still having fun and not getting too stressed out. I place all of these things- this last trimester!- in His hands and ask that His will continue to be done in all of us.
I love you, little Rainbow Baby.
Love, Mommy
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