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December 11, 2020


To my Rainbow Baby,


Today, I am 29 weeks pregnant! Lots of preparation has happened for your arrival this past week! On Saturday, your Grandma and I went to look for paint for your nursery. I picked a few shades of green that I liked, and today your daddy painted some swatches of the wall for me to look at with the furniture when it gets delivered tomorrow! We finished moving everything out of the spare room and, except for some odds and ends for Christmas gift giving, everything is out and that room is officially your nursery! I am beyond excited to have the furniture in there tomorrow, so that I can start sorting through hand-me-down clothes I’ve been given and getting what I already have organized and ready for you to come home. Each little step makes things feel so real, and this is a huge step into that place where I know your arrival is so close!!


The other thing your Grandma and I did on Saturday was stuff and seal the invitations for my baby shower! Because of the pandemic that we are still having to live through, we decided that the safest option to celebrate you with our friends and family is to have my shower virtually. Next month, we will have our loved ones gather on Zoom to share their love and excitement at your impending arrival, and I’ll be able to see people across the country on my computer screen sharing our joy at this miracle. It’s not at all what I pictured, but literally nothing about this process has been. Each step of our journey through infertility required me to let go of what I thought should be the way and timing for us to start our family. I’m disappointed that we will not get to hug our loved ones and see them in person to finally celebrate our Rainbow, but it is a small price to pay to keep you safe. At the end of the day, you are still wiggling away in my belly and you will be here soon, so that’s enough for me! And the nice thing about a virtual shower is that people who live further away who wouldn’t be able to travel here can still be a part of the festivities, which means there will hopefully be more love to shower on you, even if it is virtual! 


It is mind boggling to me how long and fast this has all seemed. On the one hand, it seems like planning my baby shower has been such a long time coming. After trying for you for almost 3 years and going through the process of various infertility treatments for 2 of those years, it feels like this celebration is long overdue. And yet, I cannot believe we’ve already arrived at this point of my pregnancy, where we are preparing for this celebration. It seems like moments ago you were a tiny embryo being transferred to my belly, and now you are growing and moving so much everyday. Before we know it, you will be here, and I am so ready for that day to arrive. But I will continue to cherish each milestone of this pregnancy and celebrate every little step we take to get closer to your arrival.


Right now, you are the size of an acorn squash. You measure just over 15 inches and weigh 2 and a half pounds! Your weight is going to triple before you are born- that is insane!! You are already having dreams and going through the whole sleep cycle, including REM. I wonder what you dream about while I’m dreaming about you (I had my first hospital dream last night, where I was at the hospital for you to be born- no delivery in this dream though). You're practicing breathing by moving your diaphragm, and although you are running out of room in there, it is not stopping you from moving and kicking up a storm! I can see my belly jump and twitch all day long. I’m so grateful for all the movement I can feel from you each day- my doctor told me my placenta is in the front, so that may make it hard to feel you move. But I’m definitely not having any challenges there, and it’s always reassuring to feel each kick and flutter throughout the day to know that you are active and growing. I pray God continues to bless me with these moments to cherish your life in my belly, and that you stay strong and healthy. I rejoice that He has brought us this far, to the place where we’re building your nursery and planning a celebration in your honor, and I ask that He continue to be with me for comfort, peace, strength, and joy as we make it to the home-stretch of this pregnancy! I place all these things in His hands and ask that He continue to do His will.


I love you, little Rainbow Baby!


Love, Mommy  



 

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