Noah's Rainbow

  When I started this journey to share my struggle with pregnancy after loss and infertility, I had some conversations with friends that had also had similar experiences. The thing about loss and infertility is that, while no one talks about it, it’s a pretty big club, so naturally I had quite a few friends who had experienced loss, infertility or both.  During one such conversation, a friend of mine shared some feelings that I never knew I had experienced myself: Why was I given this trial? Why infertility? What is this supposed to teach me? Why are you calling me to IVF? Why do others get this so easily when it’s hard for me? I don’t want to carry this burden. Why me? While so many of these questions had bounced around in my head over and over again throughout the years, I had never framed my thinking in this way. My friend had seen her struggle with infertility as a calling from God, and her questions were focused on why God was asking her to specifically...

            Last week, in honor of the beginning of 2023, we took a look at how we can replace busyness in our lives with boundaries. When we give into the world’s glorification of busyness, we are faced with both a physical and mental toll. We’re going to wrap up this first month of a new year by looking at both of these struggles. Today, the physical. Exhaustion. A world synonymous with motherhood. The busyness we battle in motherhood can sure make us exhausted. The dictionary definition of tired is “ in need of sleep or rest; weary.” But the dictionary ups the ante with the definition of exhausted: “drained of one's physical or mental resources; very tired.” I think that definition perfectly describes me right now. On the heels of a busy Christmas season, the first where my son has started to understand what’s going on and is actually able to participate in the festivities, I am feeling physically drained of all resources. Creating the ma...

            It seems like everyone these days is talking about “setting boundaries.” It’s all over my social media feeds, setting boundaries in all types of relationships- with your significant other, with your parents, with your in-laws, with your children, with your friends, with your coworkers and even your boss… It’s gotta make you wonder: is this just another new mental health fad, pushed by the “millennial snowflakes” who just need to “toughen up?” First of all, I’m technically a millennial (though sometimes, I’m not a fan of being grouped in that generation). Second of all, I do not at all believe that the current generation needs to toughen up. I do believe there are people in our society- of all generations- who get too easily offended when someone simply disagrees with them or takes it personally when someone holds a different opinion than them. Neither of these things are cause for meltdown. They are just normal human existence where every...

                      I have never been a follower. I have always been very opinionated about the “right” way to do anything, and I will go that way regardless of what anyone else is doing. I’ve never been one to follow the crowd- and this was often to my detriment in high school when I was mercilessly teased and even bullied for not doing what my peers were doing. And while the hurtful words of my classmates certainly left their mark on my mental health, I never questioned whether or not I should give up going my own way. I have found that in motherhood, I am much the same way. Many of my friends became mothers before me, so I have been aware of what is “trendy” or “popular” in parenting when it comes to sleeping, feeding, and teaching my son. Sometimes, what I know to be best for him and our family falls in line with one of these methodologies, but other times, I’m doing completely different things from what my fri...