June 11, 2021
To my Rainbow Baby, Henry,
Today, you are four months old! A year ago yesterday, you were a tiny little embryo when you were placed in my belly. That day was filled with hopes, dreams, fears, and anxiety. I was so hopeful that we would have a viable and healthy pregnancy, yet so afraid that you would join your angel sibling in heaven and that I would face yet another disappointment on my journey to motherhood. And although I had no idea how things would progress or what the future would hold, I knew in that moment that I was your mother. I felt that deep connection to you the moment I saw the tiny flash on the monitor as the doctor released you into my womb. Just as surely as I knew the moment I saw the YES on the pregnancy test that I was a mother to my angel baby, I knew I would always be your momma. Now here you are, a year later, four months old and teaching me new things about motherhood every single day. I am so grateful to God that He has brought us to this moment, that He allowed you to nestle into my womb and grow healthy and strong over the next 9 months, and that He brought you into this world as a strong and healthy baby boy. It has been quite a journey since that day, and I know we only have a million more adventures and memories to go!
Yesterday, as we rocked before nap time, I read you that first letter I wrote to you a year ago. I cried tears of joy as I realized all the prayers that were answered: how I melted when I saw your daddy hold you for the first time, how you barreled into our lives when you were born, how God blessed me and watched over us every moment of my pregnancy. I am glad that God placed it on my heart to start writing these letters that day, and I am looking forward to reading them all to you as each anniversary passes. I want to always remember the journey I’ve been on with you and Him, and I want you to hear of how loved you were in every single moment, even that very first day that you were placed in my tummy.
I can tell you're going to be a funny guy, just like your Daddy!
You have had such a busy month, little boy! My favorite thing by far has been watching you find your laugh!! That first giggle was like angels singing in my ear, and each day that passes you get an even bigger personality and reveal more things we can do to keep that beautiful laugh coming. You do high pitched squealing laughs, deep belly laughs, and gurgling giggles. It just kills me every time I hear it, and I’m constantly doing the goofiest things to hear it again. I’m so excited to see how your personality continues to develop as you grow!
We’ve been doing lots of tummy time to help you get stronger. Now that you have more control of your neck and back, you have to learn how to roll again- this time on purpose instead of just using the momentum from your melon head to topple you over! This is causing you some frustration, but you’re able to lift your head up and prop on your arms for long stretches of time, and your tummy muscles are getting strong enough to start holding a sitting position with some assistance from Momma.

We survived Mommy’s two week return to work. It was harder for me than it was for you! You had a blast with Gammaw every day, playing, going for walks, and perfecting the art of napping in your crib! The first day, you made the saddest little face when I came home and realized that I had been gone all day! But after the waterworks and stress of that first morning leaving you, I did okay, especially knowing it was only for two weeks. The time flew by and we were back to our routine, soaking up summer break! I’m already dreading August- that is going to be even harder than the two weeks I had to go back in May. I’m already praying God allows this summer to linger just a bit longer, but we’re already two weeks in!
Mommy and Daddy celebrated their 4th wedding anniversary with a nice date night while you hung out with Gammaw and Pup Pup. It was so nice to be celebrating our growing family this year, as the last few anniversaries have been a challenge for Mommy as we struggled to bring you into the world. When we got married, we had no idea that journey we’d go on to become parents; we just knew that starting a family was the thing we were most excited for. I’m so grateful that God has finally allowed that dream to come true.
We took another road trip to Belleville to see some of Daddy’s family, and on that trip, we took you to State College for the first time. This is the place that brought Mommy and Daddy together. We showed you our tailgate spot, the tailgate where our parents first got to know one another, which is what led to Mommy and Daddy meeting, falling in love, getting married, and making you. We captured a special family picture to make sure that we remember how far we’ve come and how much God has blessed us with, and we can’t wait to introduce you to all the people who contributed to bringing us together when our tailgate finally gets to start back up in the fall.
Little man, I’m so excited for all the adventures we’re going to have this summer. We’re going on vacation soon, and you’ll go “swimming” for the first time. Mommy has been anticipating the fun, finding you the perfect float, getting sunglasses and hat, swimsuits and towels. We’re going to keep working on your milestones everyday, making sure you keep getting strong; before we know it, you’ll be sitting and then crawling, and once you get moving, we’re in big trouble!! We’re hoping to take some trips to introduce you to more of the people who love you and have been praying for you since you were that tiny snowflake embryo. But most of all, we’re going to have so much fun being your Mommy and Daddy, and we just love you so so much.
I thank God for all the wonderful memories and milestones of the past month. I pray that He will keep us all safe and healthy this summer so we can continue having fun and making more memories. I pray that He will watch over you and continue to help you grow big and strong, and that He will give me the ability to soak up all of these moments before my full return to work. Get ready for your first summer, sweet boy! We’re going to have so much fun!!
I love you, little Rainbow Henry.
Love, Mommy
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